As Sarah Ferguson broke royal protocol by becoming the first family member to join TikTok, she announced her debut with a vulnerable video about her recent health issues. On Wednesday, the Duchess of York posted a TikTok titled “How it felt hearing my breast cancer diagnosis” where she opened up about the “abject fear” she experienced when she found out that she had breast cancer last year.
Ferguson, who underwent a single mastectomy to remove the cancerous growth, told fans that she “shut down” when she originally learned about the disease. Wearing a turquoise dress paired with a light wash jean jacket while sitting outdoors, the royal addressed the camera, describing her first reaction to the news as the “hollow feeling of total abject fear.”
Posting from @SarahtheDuchess, the royal also shared her feelings before her operation, saying, “The drive from Royal Free to Edward VII Hospital was 40 minutes, and I just didn’t speak. I couldn’t speak. It’s really interesting for me not to speak.”
Ferguson admitted she originally had a hard time asking for help and support amidst her cancer battle. “I couldn’t express myself, I just shut down, I went back into [being] a little girl,” she told the camera. “It was easier not to ask for support and just to deal with it, because that’s what I’m used to, that’s what I can do, that’s what I was taught.”
However, she said her mindset changed after dealing with the health scare as well as a second cancer diagnosis after doctors found a mole that turned out to be malignant melanoma while doing reconstructive breast surgery earlier this year.
“It’s only now that I am really proud of my scars. They’re really important,” she continued. “I never thought you could free the shackles of your heart by cancer, by learning what it is to be able to talk right now, right this second, about what it feels like to ask for help, to surrender, and to realize that everything is going to be okay.” During her treatment, she said she’d found a way to “find joy” and “not worry so much.”
Coming amidst Breast Cancer Awareness month, the Duchess’s TikTok debut also included a shout-out to others going through the same thing. “My first ever TikTok! How it felt hearing my breast cancer diagnosis,” she captioned the video. “One cancer diagnosis was bad enough, but to go through all those emotions twice was a lot to handle. For anyone going through this now, know that you are not alone.”